A catch up blog

well since I seem to be getting messages demanding a blog I thought I better oblidge.

Since my last blog Ive been so busy with so many different things that I really didnt have the motivation to write about my life when I was so busy living it.

So the main things that have happened have been the variety show and the general running of the cube.

The Variety Show, for those who dont know, was a show which I "jointly" (yeah right I did all the work) organised with my friend Benji in order to raise money for "Careforce" a charity who places people on year olds in churches across Britain (www.careforce.co.uk)

The 2 weeks before the show was an up and down period with people pulling out all the time and then us ending up with people wanting to be in the show at the last minute. Then the day itself arrived and it was superb. We had a belly dancer, a rock band, a singer, 3 comedians, a couple of amazing children acts, and a few other things (including a certain blogger destroying 2 of his favourite songs). I was the host as well, so was kept very busy keeping the show running.

We raised £280 in total, which we were very pleased with.

After that I could relax - wrong. I then needed to organise a BBQ for the volunteers of the Cube and keep it up and running and do lots of other things.

Il skip to the BBQ which took place in the pouring rain on wednesday and so we ended up having all the meat cooked in oven and playing uno extreme - until 11:10pm! Was great to have them round tho coz it felt like I had a social life - even if it was a work event.

But you dont want to know about work etc, you want to know about me. Well in the last blog I felt crap and had a bad day etc. Over the last couple of weeks Ive had my ups and downs, being so busy has left me drained - The happiest moment was gettin £460 refund from British Gas.

I guess what Id like to say to you all is that you dont know how special you are to me, sometimes you feel like your all I have.

I honestly feel my emotions and feelings are like a rollercoaster and sometimes i wanna get off and sometimes im excited by the bumps etc i see in the distance or have just gone over.

Theres a couple of really special people who have helped keep me sane over the last couple of weeks, but I dont think they know it. One of them is currently waiting for me to write this blog and whilst I dont want to look like Im sucking up to her I want her to know that no matter what life has thrown at her or decisions she has made in the past present or future Gods used them to turn a rock into a diamond - a beautiful one too! So you know who you are (and if you dont then ask me if its you and il confirm it!)

right I just got a message telling me to hurry up so il finish coz this lengthy blog is enough for now.

will do one tomoro on my first day off for 2 weeks! yay

love you all!

Me!

not a fun day

Todays been one of those days, you get them in youth work, those days where at the end of it the only question you want to ask is "whats the point?"

but its nor just in youth work its in life. without going into details friends can be hard work sometimes. I know they are worth it, and I appreciate all my friends but sometimes I wish God created us to be alone instead of with other people.

anyways im being careful what i type coz i dont want to bitch.

then tonight we had no young people - not a single one!

whats the point?

anyways Im praying that tomoro I wake up in a better mood coz I do prefer myself when im happy etc and i think most of you lot do too!

so for now farewell, this is why i didnt blog this before - you understand now lol

happy morety will see you all tomoro.

Laughing at life

Ive been thinking a lot recently about how strange lifes is, i meen just look at my reasons: -

I spend all my time at work thinking about when my next day off is only to spend my day off worrying about the things I have to do at work the next day.

I keep looking at my mobile wishing I recieve texts or phone calls so that I know i have friends that care etc but when my phone rings I start swearing and cursing "whos ringing me at a time like this?"

I complain theres nothing on TV but cant miss a certain programme every week/day just in case something interesting happens on it when Im not watching.

I complain I have no social life but when asked if I want to go out after a long day at work I say no i just want to chill out and have some space.

I can feel alone and lonely in a room full of people but comfortable and happy in a room with just me and God.

I can convince myself somethings true even if it isnt but if someone tries to convince me the same thing is true I wouldnt believe them.

so yeah lifes strange, we all knew that - whats my point?

well I guess my point is that if lifes so strange and if its human nature to laugh at things that we find strange (which I am told is the case) why is it so hard to laugh at life?

Over the last 26 years lots of stuff (good and bad) has happened to me and my family etc and when I talk about it I normally do it with a smile on my face and almost laugh about it - some say this is because if i dont laugh id cry but with me its different, I do look back and find it slightly funny the way things panned out!

The bad stuff shouldnt have happened - but when you look back you see how silly some of the things were - and how much comic value is in them.

The good stuff was a blessing at the time but is often the hardest stuff to remember - surely thats funny in itself

So yeah next time Im telling you about my parents divorce, my depression, or any other crap periods of my life with a smile and almost jokey sounding voice be assured Im not hiding anything Im learning to laugh at life.

Is this healthy? YES - why? cause life is funny - even if it doesnt seem like it when your living it!

I believe God has a sense of humour and has a plan for us, he doesnt turn us into jokes or cause us pain which we cant deal with but he gave us the ability to laugh at things because laughter is the best medicine (watch patch adams if you dont believe me!) and is one of the best things he gave us to help us through the bad times.

So next time you feel down, next time stuff is going wrong, infact every day that you live ask God the exact thing that I am asking God for at this very moment - ask God to let you laugh!

Life = a gift from God
laughter = a gift from God
You = a gift from God

Life + You + Laughter = a happy life (but not necesarily and easy life)

sorry this is random and possibly a bit too serious for a day off - you got to laugh dont you, when i started typing i had nothing to say!

not much to say

I havent actually got anything interesting to say today - the main thing that happend yesterday was to be told of by my boss for something which has nothing to do with work at all - but apparently in leadership everything is to do with work!

anyways so that i dont moan etc instead i chose to update my life story so if your bored enough to read it go to

http://www.faithforum.co.uk/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=3184&p=58277&sid=6e604545b8839337fbff00ad2d282e32#p58277

thanks

Stacey (to be fair)

Shes 19 years old today oh my
That really makes her old
An amazing welsh girl she is you know
could steal my heart anyday if she wished
everybody knows her charms
yay for stacey yay

Happy birthday now learn to celebrate properly!

proper blog of the busy weekend

well the weekend began on Friday (as it does every week) and il skip the day and jump to the brilliant evening I had. Went to see Riding Lights Roughshot theatre company at a church, and it was weird coz the first half was a mix of the random to the sublime. A number of short dramas based on the actors real lives, some very meaningfull some just plain random and weird. The second half was a touching drama about modern and historic slavery. Really touched me especially as it was sort of based on the tragedy in Morcambe where I spent a lot of time when I was studying. If they are in your area go watch them - really good night out.

I got home and had to finish off prep for saturdays stall at the carnival. I got to bed at 2am and awoke at 8am ready for my long day.

Basicaly the stall was a 2 minute quiz with a £20 prize at the end of the day to the person with the highest score. The main reason of us being there was PR, which meant a lot of running around in the morning so here goes.

at 9am I was at home printing off posters and other display items and laminating them whilst making sure my transport was sorted - he wasnt and agreed to meet me at 10am

At 9:30am I walked quickly into town to purchase 3 clipboards and some pens and to cut 500 flyers so that we had 1000 of them.

At 10:30am my transport arrived. We filled his van up and drove to the Baptist church where we had to pick up display boards and tables.... by the time van was full it was 11:15am

we then drove to my house to pick up the display material and a couple of deck chairs and left there at 11:29am. The deadline for arriving at the fair ground to set up was 12am so we were cutting it fine but should make it.

Just as we pull out into the main road the police stick a road closed sign up so we couldnt right turn, so we right turned anyways the police officer looking very angry until i wind down the window and shout "we have a stall for carnival" she turns and shouts exactly what I shouted to the next officer who then shouted again and then anouther... a bit like chinese whispers, im sure the last officer shouted "their fools for the carnival!" but they let us through and we joined a traffic jam (how if the road was closed was there a traffic jam?) and eventually arrived to set up at 11:57am - just in time!

we set up and the stand fell over, set up again and the stand fell over, and set up again and it stayed up. Then the crowds arrived!

Well basicaly it ended up being a 12 year old girl coming back again and again getting more right all the time and got a score of 17 and walked away believeing she was winning. The an hour before the end a 16 year old came and tried a few times equalised and then got 22, just as the 12 year old came to check she was still winning - she was gutted so tried 3 more times but could not get over 19.

Was funny coz all the adults who took part never got above 14 so once again it proves the education system works (and the questions were very tough!)

After all this I got home completly knackered at 7pm just in time to relax with dr who (great epotisode) and joseph (the tv show - IM NOT GAY!)

went to bed at 10pm(ish) and awoke this morning in time for church.

Todays highlights were :-

singing happy bday to stace over the phone and learning she doesnt know how to party or celebrate properly (and a bacon sarnie is not a cooked breakfast!)

chatting to Nat and wishing her happy bday etc and learning she doesnt know how to party or celebrate properly

leading a service tonight which went amazingly well (9ppl in congregation yay)

and now I think I will relax and try to switch off for a bit before bed.... roll on wednesday I need a day off!

Stace Happy birthday to you hope you had a goodun#
Nat you got your message so yeah happy bday

everyone else everytime i say comment or text I get about 2 comments and no texts so I wont bother this time and see who comments!

bye for now (I will put photos up when in next blog coz i cant be bothered to do the uploading thing now)

For Nat

Firstly I promised Nat I would write her and her alone a special birthday message so here goes

There was a girl called Nat
who liked to wear ears of a cat
Shed lived 20 years
Didnt like drinking beers
but she looked great in a hat!

(ok very poor lymeric but the point is hope you have had a great bday and you learn how to party before your 21st!)

there you go hope you dont feel left out from the previous post anymore!

confessions and messages to you all.

Ive sinned a lot today

Ive been angry coz someone stopped me working this afternoon because they didnt know procedures which have been in place for 2 years.

Ive been jealous of 2 friends being so close and me feeling so far from them

Ive lusted but I wont go there (actually I better say it was over a car or something or some of you may start thinking dodgy thoughts about me)

Ive thought terrible thoughts about both my parents

Ive been incredibly lazy

and well thats enough confessions for today - feel better now.

obviously this isnt my usual type of blog, mainly coz i actually for once dont have anything new or worthwhile to write.

actually there is a few personal messages for people I want to make:-

Cash - everything ive said in the past is true, and I'm praying that your happy and that you find whatever your looking for.

Lil - Smile and remember your life is yours and Gods not anyone elses. ENJOY IT!

Stace - have a great birthday and make sure that boyfriend of yours forces you to celebrate in style!

Bexy - not sure if you read this blog but if you do remember your a valued friend to so many people and they may not know how to show you how special you are - but that doesnt meen they dont see you as a precious gift!

Margo - I miss our mortal enemy fun and games - those were the days. follow your heart and stop using your head so often!

Pilch - from what Ive heard from others blogs and chat in general your a special guy who touches many lives, would love to get to know you better and actually class you as a friend rather than a friend of a friend.

Ann-Marie - I might not know the answers to the questions we both seem to be asking but I know a man who does, and Im sure hes going to tell us them when the time is right - just praying he hurries up lol.

Teebs - I like you too, especially when sometimes you force me to entertain which in turn has sometimes lifted my mood so thankyou - your great!

Kat - Be assured your a great friend and despite the past our future is a great friendship and I cant wait to visit you to prove it lol.

Everyone else - Thankyou - you comments and texts may sometimes appear to you as just a token gesture but they meen a lot. Please continue to comment and if you have my mobile please randomly text - it proves to me that those I care about aint just figments of my imagination - your all grand and special and I wish you all lived nearer coz id love to have you all around.

night night

(normal services will resume tomoro)

The Cube - for those who requested it

ok first this is the official background of "The Cube" (the cafe I run)

The Cube was created in response to a survey of the town by Harborough Improvement Team (HiT) which identified a lack of provision for young people in the 14-18 age group.

The churches in town agreed to set up ‘the Cube’ (initially named ‘the Source’) to be overseen by a Supervisory Board made up of the youth workers or representatives from the main eight churches in the town.

The café is managed by young people, volunteers and Matthew Moreton (full time youth worker) and is based on Christian principles including the value of the individual, the importance of relationships, tolerance and respect for one another and the free and open discussion of different views and opinions. It seeks to provide a safe & secure environment in which young people can relax and enjoy themselves. Provision will be made for discussing any issues raised by young people and support given for organising their own events and activities. The Cube motto is ‘Live life, love life & learn from life’ and expresses the aim of supporting and equipping young people in getting the most out of their lives.

The Cube is open to everyone aged 14-16 and to 16-18’s who are not in full time employment. Since opening “The Cube” has reached on average 120 young people each week (including repeat attendees) with a wide mix of youths from many different backgrounds.

so thats the official stuff out the way, basicaly my job is to run the venue and stop it just being a cafe and make it youth work. Sometimes I fail sometimes I succeed. Any questions ask away but i really am not sure what to say about the cafe so yeah thats the work stuff gone I may write a proper blog or I may go to bed!

procrastinating

procrastination is a great word isnt it. I meen just the way it is spelt and sounds sums up exactly what it meens. It takes ages to say, even longer to work out which letters go in which order, and by the end of it you have forgotten what it is your trying to put off anyways.

Well thats officially what I am doing here and now, Im putting of things.

What am I putting off, well like I said above I cant actually remember. I know I have a stall for our carnival to sort out by Saturday, I know I have posters to design and print for Saturday, I know I have a press release to write, for yesterday, I know I have reports to write for no idea when, and I know I have publicity to send out for ASAP. But ask me what Im supposed to be doing now and I couldnt tell you.

Last night I was told I was disorganised and I laughed and said yes I am, but my disorganisation is what gets my work done! The thing is its not just in work that Im disorganised its my life as well.

Ok Im single, 26 (27 on August 24th by the way) years old, live on my own, rent a house, have an "interesting" job and whilst I have debts its below the national average (about £3-5000). But how do I live my life, well - and this wasnt planned but just as I wrote that last line a song popped into my head which sums up how I live currently (some words changed to suit me better): -

I get up when I want, except on Tuesdays, when I get rudely wakened by the dustmen.
I put my trousers on, have a cup of tea, and I think about leaving the house.
I feed the young people, I sometimes feed the elderly too. It gives me a sense of enormous well-being.
And then I'm happy for the rest of the day,safe in the knowledge there will always be a bit of my heart devoted to it.

Incase you didnt know the song is parklife by Blur.

so yeah where were I? (I talk proper!) ah yes my disorganised life - well its got me thinking and wondering (are they the same thing?) is having a disorganised life a bad thing? does it autmaticly mean your life is going to be messy? if life gets organised does it meen Id lose my udentity?

I like sleeping in, I work better under pressure (aka at the last minute), I prefer to wake up and say "im going to the theatre today!" than to plan a day out for weeks.

Im not sure where Im going with this blog, and maybe thats the point of it - that I dont know where Im going false stop.

im 26 years old - I know Im getting older - so thats clear and tidy, and organised but I have no choice there do I?

Im single - Well Ive had relationships and theyve failed, Im told Im not ugly (altho I dont believe them) Im told I have a good sense of humour/personality etc so I guess my disorganised life may contribute to this - or i must be doing something else wrong, just no body tells me what lol

Im in debt - I am slowly getting myself out of it, but then I do something like decide on a holiday etc and get back into it - again lack of planning leads me into the deep.

so yeah - im not depressed or down just reflecting on my disorganasation as part of my procrastination and wondering if I should change or whether changing is even possible or whether making a change is something i should put off til tomoro.

what do you think? I cant be the only one who is thinking this can I?

life changing stuff

The last couple of days have been a strange couple of days, nothing particulary big or small has happened however the events have effected me in a few ways, which in turn will effect at least my short term future in many ways.

Imagine the scene a 17 year old lad is sat head in his arms staring at his mobile, every so often you get a grunt or some sort of small talk (normally about leicester city!). He then asks the biggest question any man could ask anouther man "why is always the mans fault?"

whoa! now before I continue this scenario let me please apologise to any women reading this blog, but in truth the question is one which us men often ask and to this day have failed to answer.

My response "umm well do u think its her fault?"
Him "Yeah its definitly her fault"
Me "well the reason its always the mans fault in her view is cause its always her fault in your view!"
Him "oh yeah"
and the chat goes on and on and on until....
Him "Matt can I have that questionaire back" (we had all the youths fill in a big questionaire one of the pages dedicated to getting feedback on me)
Me "why?"
Him "well I said I wouldnt talk to you about my problems cause youd take the piss, and I want to change that now coz I know you wouldnt!"

Now this may not seem like a big thing to you, but to me I spend over 40 hours a week trying to make small breakthoughs with young people, and this is what I needed at that exact moment. I was tired of no young people coming in, of the criticism for lack of organisation, the... well you get the picture. Then in this moment (which the youth probably thought was just anouther meaningless chat) I got the kick from God saying - your not wasting your time, just be patient and your change lives!

Now you wont know this coz i havent told anyone but I was really in a why do I bother stage at work, the stage where it feels like im not doing youth work just running a cafe, the stage where i think about what life would be like in a 9 to 5 job where I had the evenings and weekends off, where im well paid, and well yeah you get the point. So this small moment sorted that out (hopefully there will be a few more small moments soon tho coz i dont want to have to rely on it for a while.)

The next moment came through a text message. Now I am addicted to texts, I use them a lot coz most of my friends live so far away that i cant give them a hug when they (or I) need them, or just to say im thinking of them or whatever. Sometimes I even feel God telling me to text someone i havent texted for ages (although that doesnt happen too often). Well this is fine, you may think, but I barely ever recieve texts, probably coz I text people so much that they get fed up of me and so ignore my messages and assume theirs no meaning behind them. Well today I recieved a text like one ive never recieved before. It was someone who had just decided to text out of the blue. im sure they didnt think it was a particulary meaningful message or a very special one but (Im ashamed to say this) it brought a slight tear to my eye. what did it say? I hear you ask.... well youl have to read on and at the end of the blog Il tell you!

So my happiness at work got the kick up the backside it needed, my emotional side got touched, what next. Well on Sunday we lost the venue we are hosting a variety show in. So we had the acts, the date, the time, a few people expressing interest in coming but no venue. Well to cut a long story short someone approached me and (without knowing we had lost the venue) said "you should have done it at our church!" so now we have a venue! A blatant answer to prayer! Thankyou God - I am panicking now tho coz I have to sort my acts out, Im due to be singing 2 songs but havent chosen them or sorted music yet as I havent done a serious performance in public since I was 18, 8 years ago! so pretty nervous - I have my suit ready tho so i know what im wearing lol.

Finally the biggest thing that happend, and its a really really small thing but il remember it for a long time. Theres this old man who I think lives just down the road. I see him all the time and always say hello and he never replies, or acknowleges it or even smiles. Infact he worse than Victor meldrew, the ultimate miserable old man. Well today I walked past him and said hello and he looked up, looked at me for a minute made a strange grunt like noise and nodded his head and smiled. Wow he acknowledged me - whats going on. well like I said it was a small thing but this smile really made my day.

All this has made me realise the importance of the small things. i know its biblical and I know its pretty obvious but i think we all forget it (I know i do). The smallest of things have a big effect.
Maybe you smile at someone every day.
Maybe you say bless you when someone sneezes
theres loads more examples but the thing I realised over the last 2 days is without the small things life would be so much worse than it is.

So I guess I have a challenge to you all, and to myself.

Set yourself a target to do 1 small thing every day. It may be saying hello to a neighbour, giving a friendly smile to the harrassed parking attendant, saying keep the change to the person serving you, or sending a text to someone you havent contacted for a while just to let them know your thinking of them.

You may just change someones life without even knowing it - whats the worst that can happen?

oh yeah by the way the text said: -

":-) A smile for you coz knowing you makes me smile"

Sunny Sunday

Well what can I say about Sunday, the Sun was out the sky was blue theres not a lot for me to do coz its raining raining in my heart - well actually no it aint but I couldnt think of any other song about the sun being out so this will have to do.

So the day began with me going to church which was part of our family friendly weekend! So let me get this straight, our church had a weekend especially to join a network of churches and be classed as family friendly - doesnt this strike anyone else as being a little odd?

who decides which church is friendly? who decides what is classed as a family? how many sundays a year must the church be for the family? hmmm

well actually the service wasnt too bad, was fun mix of songs with actions (how utterly sad and cheesy lol) traditional hymns (snore) an interactive sermon (hmmmmm I think David Beckham is stalking me this weekend). God did actually speak to me during it, which cant be said most Sundays - cant actually remember what he said now tho lol - im sure he will repeat it if its important!

After the service I met up with Alice (still not her real name) for lunch down the local. Thanks to those who gave the advice. It was a really nice hour (I actually had a real reason which meant I had to be home for 1pm so couldnt stay longer), great fun and nice food. The obvious question of how did I "let her down" has been asked and to be honest I didnt actually say anything about my concerns, with the only hint being when she said we should do this again sometime I replied definitly and maybe we can invite a few more people next time too. She didnt seem to mind that suggestion so Im assuming that made it clear I wasnt looking to date her in a nice subtle way (hmm that sounds wrong - I dont want to date her whether its subtle or not lol)

Then I came home to recieve an important phone call which eventually came and went and wasnt as important as I was told it would be.

the rest of the day was pretty boring really, but really nice. I went into the back garden in my shorts and T-shirt and mowed the lawn (which had grown into a forest - im sure ive made a few animals homeless), played a bit of Pink very very loudly (and sang along a bit) which im sure upset the neighbours (the singing and playing it loudly probably upset them in equal measures). Oh and had a couple of glasses of cheap low alcoholic wine. Was actually a nice afternoon.

The niceness of the day was ripped down a little when I heard from my dad that my grandad had pressed his personal alarm as he was struggling to breath and was now in hospital again. Hes apparently going to be there for at least a week, if not longer. This has, however, made him agree that he will move into a home, on the condition that it still allows him to stay indipendant! so now my uncle etc are on the look out for a place. So please pray for my Grandad - Even tho I dont see him that often nowadays hes the one relative who I always want to see, and have great memories surounding him - and his drum kit (I always called him Grandad drums, once going on radio one and doing a shout out to him with my dad saying afterwards - do you really think Grandad listens to radio one? lol), his trumpet, his trombone, his organ and basically loads of other musical stuff. hes a great man, so yeah pray for him please, thanks.

I ended the day with the usual routine chattign and playing mines etc, but was really tired so lost most of them.

Anyways the week begins now, its the Harborough Carnival at the end of this week so I have to work out if we are having a stall and what we can do on it if we do have one. So busy week then.

right then its 8am and Im awake so i should do some work, bye bye people, dont forget to comment - its much more fun knowing whos read this and getting responses. lol

bye for now

Saturday - a day of hugs and smiles!

After writing my last blog I was on line chatting to a friend until about 3:30am and suddenly realised the time and that I had to be awake and at work 4 hours later and so went to bed and set the alarm on my new phone, 6:30am - shouldnt be a problem should it?


WRONG


I awoke without hearing my alarm, picked up my phone to look at the time (afterall the alarm hadnt gone off so it must be early musnt it?) AARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


yes youve guessed it the time was not 6:30am, nor was it 7:30am or even 8am (the time I was due at the display venue) the time was 9:20am!


I jump out of bed run to the bathroom and shower and get dressed in a world record time, then I phone a taxi "can I have a taxi at Logan street as soon as posible please?" "I cant be there til 10:20!" "never mind!" 3 taxi companies all the same! so I ring a neighbour and ask a favour - i get the display out the front of the house and wait for him to turn up.


we drive the 5 minute journey into town, get the display out the car and set up and ask the people next to me - you been busy yet? the answer - not a single person - so i was greatful for the extra couple of hours in bed and calmed down.

Well the time past, 11am, 12pm - and not a single person passes info stalls - probably to do with where they had put us. the photo was taken at about 12pm ish - not a waste of time at all - was it?


Well anouther half hour past and the organisers aproached me to ask how it was going - well I told her and then she asked me the question - will you do me a favour? Well as I had wasted 2 hours of my day stood in the boiling sun already and was pretty bored I said yes, and then shetold me what it was - would I transform myself into Harvey the Newshound? doh!

So I go into a public toilet and force this big hairy outfit around my big hairy body (too much information?) and we realise we cant get the zip up so after a few random movements of my arms we manage to get myself zipped up and the outfit minuse the head is on. Now I dont know how many of you have ever dressed as a dog, but the advice the lady gave me was that 10 minutes would be enough - coz the day was a very hot day, so we put the head on and I have completed my transformation from mere morety into "Harvey the Newshound" The Harborough Mails favourite reporter!


We walk around for a few seconds and as I can barely see anything I keep hearing my "guide" saying ok theres children there and i start waving at them, and a strange thing happens, i start enjoying it.

Suddenly a little girl who was crying her eyes out sees me, stops crying and runs towards me arms held out and jumps at me for a hug. Her face was just one, children, adults, teenagers - so many peoples faces just glowed when they saw this dog, some asking for hugs, others for handshakes, to pat their head etc etc. Basicaly it was a really good feeling seeing the effect that a big dog in a hawain outfit can have on people.


I was toured around the town for half an hour - and it was great, altho if you remember the recommended time was 10 minutes and now i know why. At about 25 minutes I whispered to my guide - its time i got out of this! and we went back to the toilet to transform back into me. as I stripped down to my normal shirt I realised how wet my shirt was, I had sweated buckets and was hurting all over.

I decided that was enough of the stall (which still had no visitors) and packed up, went for a quick drink at a friends house and then went to the cube to work.


To cut this part of the story short I basicaly managed to get someone else to run the cube for the rest of the day and came home and fell asleep on the sofa until dr who started etc and then just chilled. I felt pretty rough and I think the fact i was sick once may have been some sort of sign that i was dehydrated so i didnt open any of the wine i had and just drank water for a bit. watched some films and generally chilled out.


The day itself was pretty wasted really, but when you think about how many hugs i got and how many people me and harvey made smile I guess it wasnt wasted at all.

Anyone who used to read my old blog would know that I havent really been myself for a few days because someone asked some questions I didnt like the answers to. Well today (because of Harvey) I realised that while I may not like myself as much as I should I do have a God given talent for making people smile and for helping/listening to people when they need it - and I like that, and thank God for it!


so if anyones reading this who I have offended during my bleak period Im sorry

if anyones reading this and thinking - yay moretys back - then again im sorry ive been away

HOWEVER there is one thing im not going to change - and that the fact that I have to be serious sometimes, and be listened to sometimes! hope you can put up with that


but for now let the games begin!

The virgin blog

Ladies and gentlemen, Cats and dogs, Flies and bumblebees, Gods and mere mortals (please note there is only one God and so if you fall into this category then obviously you are sadly deluded!), basicaly anyone who is bored enough to read my new (un)improved blog, to you I say welcome.

As many of you know my old blog (RIP) has been lost somewhere on the net never to be seen again.

So this has given me the inspiration to start a new one.

On this blog I will endevour to be much more interesting than my old one had become recently. and so I will begin by analising my life over the last few days giving the ups and downs, whilst also pointing out anything that this may say about society.

Firstly I will begin with the sorry story of my laptop. If you read my old blog you will know that I leant it to my dad and then it got stolen by some evil men. Well since then I have had a daily phone call from my dad asking me some interesting questions (my replys are in brackets):
do i know how much it cost (it was a christmas present 4 years ago)
do i have any reciepts or proof of ownership (it was a christmas present)
do I know the make and model number (I leant you it months ago)
do I know where it was brought (IVE TOLD YOU DAD IT WAS A CHRISTMAS PRESENT NOW PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE!)
And finally today he rings to tell me the insurance company have given him until monday to get the information on the laptop so my deadline is sunday (ummm well ive told you this this and this and thats all i know really!)
I guess this may meen i get some money for the stolen laptop or may not. what is classed as proof of ownership anyways? can I give them things ive printed out and say this is proof that i owned a laptop, maybe they want a photo of me using it? hmmm who knows.

Next, the sadder news of my uncles brain tumour returning. He had an op a couple of years ago and was declared fit but he has just been told its back and bigger than before so he has to have an op to remove it in the next 2 weeks. Yes this is sad - and I love my uncle and pray he will be better but as my mum was telling me all this and telling me how she was hoping to get down to visit for a day to support them and asked me to do the same at some point (they live in romford) I did start to wonder what it says about my family that the only time we see each other is when someones ill or dieing or dare I say it dead? who says families have gone to the dogs?

Ohhh on a brighter note I discovered how it is possible to accidently accept a date without realising it is a date or wanting it to be a date. Let me set the scene, your chatting to a girl (lets call her alice *not her real name) and she casually says "im thinking of going out for lunch on sunday do you fancy joining me?" "hmmm well im doing this in church in the morning which pub?" "the thingy inn" "ohhh thats near the church - why not, saves me a walk home!" "great so its a date then?" "Ummmmm" and shes gone!

now call me nieve but i didnt ever get the impression she was asking me out until a mutual friend tells me hes just been told i have a date with alice and shes very excited about it! so now im stuck. I like Alice but only as a friend, shes just not my type really. Its made even more complicated as I stupidly asked the person I actually fancy for advice and so probably made it sound like I wanted to go on the date or something and well yeah - not that shes actually interested lol - I always have this thing of having the wrong people going after me at the wrong times, theres plenty of entertaining stories from uni i could put here but I wont. so yeah any advice on how to get out of a date without hurting or ruining a good friendship would be apreciated.

theres loads of other questions about romance stuff going through my head as I right this but Im not going to put it here coz well they are silly, but I would love to know one thing - if things are complicated at the start my experiences suggest at least one of the people involved are not really that interested - is this always the case? anyways enough of that - lets get interesting!

So what about work? (I hear you not asking) well work has been dead this week, which is a nightmare for me as it meens I have to work harder to work out why there are no youths using the cafe and try to decide if its a seasonal thing (which it is) or whether its something else. Tonight we had 2 in - now thats bad!

finally Ive just finished a display which i am using at a day promoting volunteering in out town. It begins in 7 hours so i will be tired but thats life! What does it say about volunteering that you have to have a day to promote it? and a question - do those paid (such as myself) to promote and work with volunteers do much volunteering themselves? i know I dont, but then i think maybe i do - does it matter? hmmm

ok for those of you who like answering questions for me these are the ones i would like answers to: -

1. how do I get out of the date without hurting her or ruining friendship?
2. why am I awake writing a blog at 1:40am?
3. if things are hard at the start of things... well you were asked above so wont repeat it?
4. is it best to give up when you have no idea if you have any chance of success?
5. have i become too serious and lost my funny side?
6. is this enough?

answers in comments please. I may not actually update this blog as i have decided to give up the net for a week for various reasons but I dont actually think any of these reasons will actually stop me using it but we will see.

anyways thanks for reading my randomness and until next time live long and prosper!

(the song below is a video thats made me laugh a lot and sums up one of my many beliefs - give it a viewing - its worth it!)