The Holy Grail

Last night I had a dream. It was one of those dreams where you wake up at the end of it and feel like it really happened and annoyed that you missed the end of it because you woke up. I awoke at 8am (ish) was wide awake and my whole body felt tense and stiff, as if Id just been involved in something really intense.

so what was the dream? I hear you asking, well it was nothing really dramatic. I dreamt I was at some sort of youth group, I know I knew people in the group but I cant remember who they were. I wasnt the youth worker responsible for the group as I was introduced as a guest by the youth worker, again I recognised him but I cant remember who it was.

The youth group was debating prayer, and I was sat there listening getting really frustrated at the way the debate was going. Everything everyone was saying just seemed to be frustrating me for some reason (again I cant remember what they were saying or why I was getting frustrated). Suddenly I had had enough and I decided to say my piece and basicaly I started talking about prayer and how Jesus taught us to pray by using the Lords prayer, this got shot down by one youth who completely disagreed with me but wouldnt let me explain that I wasnt talking about just saying it it was about using it as guidance thing on how to pray (see my recent sermon entitled "teach us to pray" which is linked ---> ). she eventually let me finish my point and someone else argued against what i was saying and every time i tried to answer a point someone else said something to stop me making it. Just as I was about to say something I woke up.

Now whilst I dont know why I had that dream last night (as the sermon was one written and used ages ago so wasnt fresh in my mind) I did think it may have meant something. I could be reading too much into it but I think maybe it could be God reminding me that I preach that prayer is important but fail to do it as much as I should. I preach that spending time with God is vital and yet I do that even less than I pray. So maybe the reason I woke up feeling so frustrated and tense is because thats the way my relationship with God is, Im not having the debates with other christians to challenge and discredit/build upon my ideas the way I did when I was a church youth worker, Im not even challenging myself as much, and maybe Im not even letting God challenge me as much when Im awake and so hes started doing it when Im asleep.

or maybe it was just a dream.

Ive also just watched The Davinchi Code for the first time, and this made me think a bit as well. The idea is based on the Holy Grail and how the church has hidden the Grail as it could destroy the church as we know it because The Grail would change findamental facts about Jesus. (Obviously this film/book is just good fiction - with no fact to it!) Well this stirred me a bit more about the dream I had and to think about how in reality the Holy Grail which we all aim to discover is not actually hidden and is something which I personally have found, Jesus himself and the relationship he has enabled us to have with God. The problem is This Grail is ignored by me sometimes because its not hidden. We search and search for things when we cant find them but when they are right infront of our noses we take them for advantage - which is why the hunt for the holy grail is often seen as more interesting than using the Grail we have already found.

So yeah as I write this I realise this is more a prayer, Lord help me to polish the Grail every day, to have a relationship with you so that I dont wake up frustrated again because I can hear you when Im awake rather than having to rely on you stirring me in my dreams.

Amen

I guess the main problem I have is there are certain areas of my life which I have issues with which get in the way of my relationship with God. I have 1 particular issue which is an addiction and it keeps coming back, and I think that probably is why I dreamt the dream as it came up last night and once again temptation got into the way.

I know God forgives me but I need his help to stop it as it does stop me from getting close to him. So I need God to give me power as I cant get patches for my addiction lol.

On none spiritual front the last week has been great, Ive felt like Ive had a social life, and have met people who may give me a social life over the next few months, problem is most of them leave the country in a few months then il be back to square one lol.

was great to see Cashew and Fruity on Saturday, was great to celebrate my mates birthday by going for a meal with him and others followed by his foirst ever experience of a nightclub, and works been going well as well - altho The dream did make me remember that I miss the debates etc which I used to encourage with the youth in my last job.

Anyways this is a lengthy blog and if youve read this far well done.

Oh one last thing - well done Steph on getting your new job at The Emerits, will be praying for you and will try to get over to see you before you fly off to dubai but if I dont (which is likely) I expect to be informed of the discount tickets to Dubai so that I can come see you. Well Done!

Bye everyone, dont forget to comment on my ramblins (and to read my sermons and comment on them too lol)