A strange thing happened to me this weekend.
Now to fully understand this I have to go into a long story and as its now 1:38am Im not going to go into a long story so you probably wont understand it but oh well, no one reads this anyways so it doesnt matter does it!
Basicaly in church for the last 3 Sundays they have been doing a series on blessings and curses. This isnt a subject I'm a huge fan off because some Christians blame every bad thing on curses and forget that some people just make bad choices. I remember when i was younger I spoke to someone and said "nothing good ever happens to me, everything touch goes wrong" or words to that effect. The answer was "maybe your cursed, shall I pray for you to be freed from it?" now i was about 14 - I will leave it up to you to decide what i thought of that suggestion.
Anyways back to the present....
This Sunday was the final Sunday of the series and the theme was how to break curses and ensure blessings (or words to that effect). now Im not one to spiritualise every little thing in my life, but my story starts on Saturday night.
I went to a party and left it early in order to get a goods night sleep before church, i didnt event drink much. I got home, went to bed and then had the worst night sleep since I moved to Liverpool. I heard noises outside my window which kept me awake, I randomly felt really ill, every time i fell asleep something woke me up, and if i said i had about 2 hours sleep id be exagerating.
Sunday morning I felt very rough. I was so close to not going to church but I had a job to do which meant I had to be there, but I felt shocking. I got to church and felt even worse, I was coughing, and at one point I was sure I was going to be sick.
The worship began and I just kept feeling like I should leave but something was telling me I had to stay. The opening worship took place and did my job and went back to my seat and more worship took place and then there was the sermon. Now I cant honestly say I can tell you much about what was said but basicaly during it memories of the last nine years kept popping into my head.
Depression
parent issues
Fear of love
Fear of being hurt
Fear of being me
etc etc
all these and more kept coming up and I felt God say "today you will be healed" Now again I must say this is weird for me because many of the above are things I dont think of as major issues but at the same time I know they are.
But the main thing came after I felt God say this I suddenly became really scared.
What if I let go of all of these things and am healed and freed from the binds of past curses etc? who will I become? Will I still be me? Will I still be a good youth worker? and more questions just flowed into my head.
I know it sounds silly but in reality Ive always believed that the things i have gone through have made me who i am and the fear I had was that letting go of my past will change my present and so mess up my future.
I struggled with all of these questions and listed all the things I believed God wanted to heal and the reasons why I didnt want to let them go (in my head) and cried a few times whilst hoping no one noticed. Then Pastor said we were going to have a time of prayer ministry and anyone who wanted to be freed from things should come forward etc etc.
I stood there and watched and ignored my instincts and just sang more worship songs as people went forward but eventually I went forward and joined the big crowd and was eventually prayed for.
Now I believe that God done something to me on Sunday and I believe I am free of my pasts burdens and curses etc and am healed of depression because of Jesus. I beleive Satan was throwing everything in his power to stop me gettign to church on Sunday to stop me being ministerd to by God, but he didnt stop there. Even after the service I felt even sicker in the evening and doubts started coming into my mind. But when I awoke the next morning I knew that I was a free person because of God and whilst the devil will try to fool me the person I will listen to is God.
So whats my point? Im not actually sure.
I guess Im saying Gods amazing and dont forget it!
I guess Im saying God heals, dont let the devil stop it happening!
I guess Im saying dont be scared to let go!
I still have the devil (even as I type) whispering "what if youve lost you ability as a youth worker with it" but I am not prepared to listen because Gods on my side.
Not every bad thing is down to curses
Not every sickness is down to curses
God promises us all blessings so to each of you I say "God Bless you!" and pray that he heals anything in your lives that need healing, I pray that any curses or binds which are in your life (including those you dont know off) are broken in Jesus name.
Amen
God is good - enjoy his freedom!
Tuesday, 22 April 2008
Friday, 28 March 2008
Is it just me?
Today I begin my first proper break from work since starting my new job in January. I do not have to do any work until Wednesday. I dont have to get up early, to do any planning, or anything associated with work! so.....
is it just me that has this problem?
While I'm at it I have some more questions: -
- why did I wake up at 4:30am this morning with lots of work issues running through my head?
- why did I at 6:30am decide the only way I was going to be able to relax is if I finished a funding bid off and so proceeded to finish it and send it off?
- why am I trying to find things to do which will remove the temptation to pop into work to just check out a couple of things, just in case?
is it just me that has this problem?
While I'm at it I have some more questions: -
- is it just me who finally finds people who want to spend time with him off line and as such finds a "social life" and then doesnt have the time to actually spend time with the aformentioned people?
- is it just me who has lost many on line friends because of lack of time or energy to be online, but also have found other people have "disapeared" themselves and now seem un-contactable?
- Is it just me who has lost the passion for the internet but at the same time cant leave it alone (hense the blog)?
For those of you who still read these blogs heres a quick update on my life: -
- Works going well but is very stressful, with the old adage of "youth work being easy if it wasnt for the adults" being as true now as it ever was!
- social wise Ive attended 2 wine parties and hosted one dinner party in the last month - which is more social action than i had for the previous 6 years lol
- house wise im planning on using my few days off to get it sorted, 3 months after moving in!
- holiday wise im planning on taking 2 weeks off in April to go abroad somewhere hot - if anyone wants to go with me let me know (seriously!)
so thats it for now.
No promises of regular blogs, bo promises of being online more often, basicaly nothing at all!
does anyone else think this was just anouther waste of time, or is it just me?
Sunday, 3 February 2008
well January was busy.....
This month has been a weird and busy one.
Obviously, as you know, I started a new job in Anfield (Liverpool) but on top of that Ive had a house to get sorted, football to go and watch, and a life to lead.
My job has started and seems to have never stopped. Basicaly I have been getting to know the area and the young people of the area, working with them to make plans for a youth programme, suggesting the programme to the leaders of the church and the agency, re-writting the youth programme after heated discusions about some of the programmes (mainly to do with timings), working on the streets to get to know the local youths who do not attend current activities, and finally making plans to launch the programme (which starts next week). Ive done all this and more this month but you get the picture.
Theres been frustrations and theres been joy and excitement, and I am 100% convinced I have made the right decisions in moving here and doing this job and am pleased with how this month has gone.
House wise the gas situation finally got sorted on the 9th of December, although the issue never seems to fully disapear - but I wont go into that now. The house is half way to being home. I finally put my bed together and so am no longer sleeping on my sofa. every room still looks messy as I basicaly have no time to get my teeth into sorting it out, which is very annoying as I want to start inviting people round and turning it into a proper home - but I'l get there eventually.
Ive been to 4 liverpool matches since I moved here, so that has been good, even tho liverpool are not exactly playing brilliantly at the moment.
Spiritually its a bit weird at the moment, church is great, the 2 hour services go quicker than any of the 1 hour services Ive been to recently and the pastor is an amazing man who speaks real sense both spiritually and in other parts of life.
Ive also been rewarded by God for taking the risk of following his path and taking a pay cut to change jobs. Basicaly when my grandad died last year he left my dad some money and after Christmas my dad told me and my brother and sister he was giving us £1000 each from Grandads money for us to use to have fun in his memory. I then recieved £600 back from British gas for overpaying bills, £210 back from the council for overpaying council tax, my landlord has said I would have the whole of January rent free and so saved £375 and there was one or two other small amounts of money which have arrived unexpectably. This all adds up to about £2200 and when put together with rent savings of £100 a month it meens my pay £3000 a year pay cut has been completely payed off. Thank You God!
So why did I say things spiritually have been weird? Well I'm struggling to get my head around some issues from my past which will effect my future and still sometimes start thinking about how I am 27, single, living alone, still isolated sometimes etc and sometimes this makes me resent the fact God has called me to be doing the work I do. But thats only some times so dont let that fool you, I definitly feel closer to God than I have done for a while.
Other issues I have at the moment which no matter how much I tell myself to forget about it wont go away, is things happening at my previous job since I left. Basically I was recently told by someone that since I left my name is mud due to things I did and didnt do whilst I was running the place. I dont pretend I ran the place perfectly and I know I made mistakes but it worries and annoys me that I hear that my succesor has started to go beyond questioning the ways I did things and things I didnt do for whatever reason and has now started basicaly accusing me of lieing about things because shes having more issues in here first couple of months than I did in 3 years. I know it shouldnt bother me but all I have is my reputation and for that to be questioned to the extreme of me being called a liar really hurts, especially as I cant defend myself because they are being done in such a way that in theory I shouldnt find out shes making them.
but anyways.....
Please pray for all of the above, especially about the next 2 weeks which is the biggest challenge Ive had for a while.
Anyways enough about me... hows you? what have I missed?
Obviously, as you know, I started a new job in Anfield (Liverpool) but on top of that Ive had a house to get sorted, football to go and watch, and a life to lead.
My job has started and seems to have never stopped. Basicaly I have been getting to know the area and the young people of the area, working with them to make plans for a youth programme, suggesting the programme to the leaders of the church and the agency, re-writting the youth programme after heated discusions about some of the programmes (mainly to do with timings), working on the streets to get to know the local youths who do not attend current activities, and finally making plans to launch the programme (which starts next week). Ive done all this and more this month but you get the picture.
Theres been frustrations and theres been joy and excitement, and I am 100% convinced I have made the right decisions in moving here and doing this job and am pleased with how this month has gone.
House wise the gas situation finally got sorted on the 9th of December, although the issue never seems to fully disapear - but I wont go into that now. The house is half way to being home. I finally put my bed together and so am no longer sleeping on my sofa. every room still looks messy as I basicaly have no time to get my teeth into sorting it out, which is very annoying as I want to start inviting people round and turning it into a proper home - but I'l get there eventually.
Ive been to 4 liverpool matches since I moved here, so that has been good, even tho liverpool are not exactly playing brilliantly at the moment.
Spiritually its a bit weird at the moment, church is great, the 2 hour services go quicker than any of the 1 hour services Ive been to recently and the pastor is an amazing man who speaks real sense both spiritually and in other parts of life.
Ive also been rewarded by God for taking the risk of following his path and taking a pay cut to change jobs. Basicaly when my grandad died last year he left my dad some money and after Christmas my dad told me and my brother and sister he was giving us £1000 each from Grandads money for us to use to have fun in his memory. I then recieved £600 back from British gas for overpaying bills, £210 back from the council for overpaying council tax, my landlord has said I would have the whole of January rent free and so saved £375 and there was one or two other small amounts of money which have arrived unexpectably. This all adds up to about £2200 and when put together with rent savings of £100 a month it meens my pay £3000 a year pay cut has been completely payed off. Thank You God!
So why did I say things spiritually have been weird? Well I'm struggling to get my head around some issues from my past which will effect my future and still sometimes start thinking about how I am 27, single, living alone, still isolated sometimes etc and sometimes this makes me resent the fact God has called me to be doing the work I do. But thats only some times so dont let that fool you, I definitly feel closer to God than I have done for a while.
Other issues I have at the moment which no matter how much I tell myself to forget about it wont go away, is things happening at my previous job since I left. Basically I was recently told by someone that since I left my name is mud due to things I did and didnt do whilst I was running the place. I dont pretend I ran the place perfectly and I know I made mistakes but it worries and annoys me that I hear that my succesor has started to go beyond questioning the ways I did things and things I didnt do for whatever reason and has now started basicaly accusing me of lieing about things because shes having more issues in here first couple of months than I did in 3 years. I know it shouldnt bother me but all I have is my reputation and for that to be questioned to the extreme of me being called a liar really hurts, especially as I cant defend myself because they are being done in such a way that in theory I shouldnt find out shes making them.
but anyways.....
Please pray for all of the above, especially about the next 2 weeks which is the biggest challenge Ive had for a while.
Anyways enough about me... hows you? what have I missed?
Thursday, 3 January 2008
I should be working but..... (and new years resolutions)
Well today is the 2nd day of my new job, and the 3rd day of the new Year so it really is time I should blog, the problem, as Ive read so often on others blogs, is I currently dont have internet at home so am shockingly writing this at my desk when I should be working - shhhh dont tell my bosses.
So where to begin?
The move went well, way back on the 19th December, last year (how time flies) and a lot of great people helped fill a van up with my belongings before my dad drove it up to Liverpool for some more great people to help unpack the van. That all went very smoothly, but then disaster stuck!
(cue dramatic noise)
NO GAS!!!!!!!!!
to cut a long story short it turns out that for some reason Transco had turned the gas supply to the house off from the street, which is a lot more complicated that just turning a switch and meant that it could take 8 weeks to fix. No one was prepared to take the blame for this, Transco say they did it but dont know why they did it but are sure that the reason they did it was a valid reason, British Gas were shocked to find out this has happened and didnt know how to fix it but were sure that it could get fixed, and the Landlord was flabbergasted to have to deal with this whole situation!
It has meant that I havent paid my rent as I have no heating or hot water and thats illegal, so it has saved me money, but its still not exactly a nice thing to happen in the middle of Winter. As of today Transco have promised that it will definitly be fixed by early next week!
Luckily Christmas came up, and so on 24th December I jumped on a train and escaped my nice but cold house for the warm welcome of my mothers, and I stayed there until 1st Jaunary 2008.
So then we reached this year (yes im skipping Christmas and New year as, although they were great and I really enjoiyed them not much actually happened). On the 2nd of January I began my new job as Youth Connect Officer.
I got into work at 9am and was greeted and told someone would be with me soon but just to make myself comfortable and use the computer until someone does arrive. I decided to surf the web and search for other youth agencies in anfield who i should contact, so i used my time wisely. An hour past, then a second and then at 11:30 someone said "are you ok to come to a meeting tonight where we are planning the next years programme for youth work" I asked the time and the reply "I dont know yet" came. they left and I sat there still with no work, no knowledge of what I was supposed to be doing, but with a meeting to go to where I was planning my years worth of work. This was going to be interesting.
I left work at 3pm and discovered the meeting was at 8pm and so went and done a bit more housework and watched TV then went to the meeting. This was very productive, with me getting a real sense that, whilst the work will fill my time up a lot, there is lots of potential for amazing work to take place here.
So far my job is, running and overseeing lots of youth activities (in church and out)
Do detached work
Manage and supervise a careforce worker
and thats just on day 2 so by next week I may be even busier lol
thats all for now, but before I go I should give you my new years resolutions....
1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
2. Stop exercising. Waste of time.
3. Read less. Makes me think more.
4. Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.
5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
6. Stop bringing lunch from home: Eat out more.
7. Get in a whole NEW rut!
8. Spend my summer holiday in Cyberspace.
9. Get further in debt.
10. Don't believe politicians.
11. Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet.
12. Don't swim with piranhas or sharks.
13. Associate with even worse people.
14. Spread out priorities beyond ability to keep track of them.
15. Wait around for opportunity.
16. Focus on the faults of others.
17. Mope about faults.
18. Never make New Year's resolutions again.
Now those I will keep to!
So where to begin?
The move went well, way back on the 19th December, last year (how time flies) and a lot of great people helped fill a van up with my belongings before my dad drove it up to Liverpool for some more great people to help unpack the van. That all went very smoothly, but then disaster stuck!
(cue dramatic noise)
NO GAS!!!!!!!!!
to cut a long story short it turns out that for some reason Transco had turned the gas supply to the house off from the street, which is a lot more complicated that just turning a switch and meant that it could take 8 weeks to fix. No one was prepared to take the blame for this, Transco say they did it but dont know why they did it but are sure that the reason they did it was a valid reason, British Gas were shocked to find out this has happened and didnt know how to fix it but were sure that it could get fixed, and the Landlord was flabbergasted to have to deal with this whole situation!
It has meant that I havent paid my rent as I have no heating or hot water and thats illegal, so it has saved me money, but its still not exactly a nice thing to happen in the middle of Winter. As of today Transco have promised that it will definitly be fixed by early next week!
Luckily Christmas came up, and so on 24th December I jumped on a train and escaped my nice but cold house for the warm welcome of my mothers, and I stayed there until 1st Jaunary 2008.
So then we reached this year (yes im skipping Christmas and New year as, although they were great and I really enjoiyed them not much actually happened). On the 2nd of January I began my new job as Youth Connect Officer.
I got into work at 9am and was greeted and told someone would be with me soon but just to make myself comfortable and use the computer until someone does arrive. I decided to surf the web and search for other youth agencies in anfield who i should contact, so i used my time wisely. An hour past, then a second and then at 11:30 someone said "are you ok to come to a meeting tonight where we are planning the next years programme for youth work" I asked the time and the reply "I dont know yet" came. they left and I sat there still with no work, no knowledge of what I was supposed to be doing, but with a meeting to go to where I was planning my years worth of work. This was going to be interesting.
I left work at 3pm and discovered the meeting was at 8pm and so went and done a bit more housework and watched TV then went to the meeting. This was very productive, with me getting a real sense that, whilst the work will fill my time up a lot, there is lots of potential for amazing work to take place here.
So far my job is, running and overseeing lots of youth activities (in church and out)
Do detached work
Manage and supervise a careforce worker
and thats just on day 2 so by next week I may be even busier lol
thats all for now, but before I go I should give you my new years resolutions....
1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
2. Stop exercising. Waste of time.
3. Read less. Makes me think more.
4. Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.
5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
6. Stop bringing lunch from home: Eat out more.
7. Get in a whole NEW rut!
8. Spend my summer holiday in Cyberspace.
9. Get further in debt.
10. Don't believe politicians.
11. Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet.
12. Don't swim with piranhas or sharks.
13. Associate with even worse people.
14. Spread out priorities beyond ability to keep track of them.
15. Wait around for opportunity.
16. Focus on the faults of others.
17. Mope about faults.
18. Never make New Year's resolutions again.
Now those I will keep to!
Thursday, 27 December 2007
The Christmas Blog
How did you spend Christmas day?
Mine began with me waking up at 10am hearing my mum talking to my brother about how she didn't know how she was going to get the house tidy enough to celebrate this year, then she went out and I realised the time and that for the first time ever she hadn't woken me up to ask if I wanted to go to church, which meant that (again for the first time ever) I didn't get to church on Christmas day.
I went downstairs and decided to start tidying the front room and to cut a long story short, when my mum got home we carried on tidying the living room, my brother done the kitchen and my sister the backroom. By 3pm the 3 rooms were tidy and we all felt we had earned our presents and so went into the undecorated living room (again this is the first year that not a single decoration had gone up) and gave out our gifts. We all had agreed that we would not go over the top this year (another first) however we all seemed to really like the small pile of gifts that we received. Mine included 2 DVDs, a mini helicopter, a small table hockey game, a calender thing and 3 yearly bible study things.
My mum then went into the kitchen to put the potatoes etc into the oven (turkey had already been cooked) and by 5pm(ish) dinner was ready and we all went into the dining room and ate our traditional massive Christmas dinner.
After eating 1 and a half roast dinners (we have a family tradition of eating the plateful we had then the "children" refill their plates and see who is last to give up - this year, again for the first time, I was first to quit) We watched Dr who (Kylie was sexy but should stick to singing) and TV etc and that was that.
I wont bored you with boxing day but to be honest it was probably identical without the presents, the tidying or Dr who - which i guess actually suggests it was a day with a huge roast dinner and lots of TV!
Looking back I realise that I probably enjoyed this Christmas more than most as, although we did have a few moments of the traditional arguments etc:-
Mine began with me waking up at 10am hearing my mum talking to my brother about how she didn't know how she was going to get the house tidy enough to celebrate this year, then she went out and I realised the time and that for the first time ever she hadn't woken me up to ask if I wanted to go to church, which meant that (again for the first time ever) I didn't get to church on Christmas day.
I went downstairs and decided to start tidying the front room and to cut a long story short, when my mum got home we carried on tidying the living room, my brother done the kitchen and my sister the backroom. By 3pm the 3 rooms were tidy and we all felt we had earned our presents and so went into the undecorated living room (again this is the first year that not a single decoration had gone up) and gave out our gifts. We all had agreed that we would not go over the top this year (another first) however we all seemed to really like the small pile of gifts that we received. Mine included 2 DVDs, a mini helicopter, a small table hockey game, a calender thing and 3 yearly bible study things.
My mum then went into the kitchen to put the potatoes etc into the oven (turkey had already been cooked) and by 5pm(ish) dinner was ready and we all went into the dining room and ate our traditional massive Christmas dinner.
After eating 1 and a half roast dinners (we have a family tradition of eating the plateful we had then the "children" refill their plates and see who is last to give up - this year, again for the first time, I was first to quit) We watched Dr who (Kylie was sexy but should stick to singing) and TV etc and that was that.
I wont bored you with boxing day but to be honest it was probably identical without the presents, the tidying or Dr who - which i guess actually suggests it was a day with a huge roast dinner and lots of TV!
Looking back I realise that I probably enjoyed this Christmas more than most as, although we did have a few moments of the traditional arguments etc:-
- for the first time in a long time, me my mum, sister and brother worked together to achieve something - even if it was just a tidy house and felt like a family.
- Without the tree and tinsel up we didn't have the distractions around us.
- Because we all only spent a little we valued our gifts much more than we usually do, as well as the sentiments behind giving and receiving them.
- By not going to church I realised that I had missed it, whereas when I go I just ignore it.
Even the cleaning bit of the day has made me realise something, surely cleaning is central to the Christmas story. The birth of Jesus is an amazing story which was the beginning of the most amazing story in the world and to put it simply - the reason for it all is so that we clean up our lives and have God at the centre and everything else in the correct draws. So maybe cleaning the house is the perfect way of celebrating Christmas! (note to mum - if your reading this DO NOT remind me of this next Christmas as whilst its nice in theory I don't want to do it every year - note to other readers - IGNORE that note to my mum I'm going to make sure cleaning is central to Christmas in my future),
In truth maybe this Christmas I have a true message for you, which I feel I have been reminded of :-
- Give and receive presents, but value them so that you remember the thoughts behind them even when you cant remember what you gave or were given
- Remember the reason for the season - every day not just once a year!
- Use Christmas and the new year as a time to clean your soul and get your life with God sorted.
Finally, and most importantly - Whoever your family are, whether 1 2 or 3 parents etc, value them - they will mess up and they will hurt you but they will always be your family and they are a gift from God, even if it don't feel like it when they are with you!
Your my family - IL update you on my move etc when I get the chance.
Merry Christmas and Have a happy New Year
Tuesday, 11 December 2007
Why church should be like a party....
In Nossies blog I discovered that my view of church should be like a party which i expressed in my last blog is one which some disagree with and so I am posting the comment I made in her blog here to explain my views and gather yours.
The reason I believe church should be like a party is that the majority of church goers (in theory but sadly maybe not in practice) are those who know the good news that Jesus brought us and many have responded to that good news!
the Biblical church was and is a gathering of christ followers. It involves worship, teachings, encouragement and more.
SURELY A GATHERING OF PEOPLE WHOM HAVE HEARD AND RESPONDED TO THE GOOD NEWS WOULD WANT TO BE CELEBRATING AND SO CHURCH SHOULD BE A PARTY (i didnt mean to shout there but my comp stuck on caps and when i re-read what I wrote I decided to keep it in capitals)
does this infer or make people believe life will be easy? not in my view! infact I believe a joyful, celebrating church says - life may not go according to my plan but im celebrating that I know there is more to life than this etc etc.
it really depends how you define party does it not? a wake after someone dies is a party, a bday party is a party, a farewell do is a party. Partys come in many sizes and with many styles and so should church. My point is church should be something attractive to people because it is Gods church and God is something people should want in their lives!
does this mean we are not called to be different? no - but thats sort of the point too isnt it? society is full of depression, sadness and lack of love or joy - so if the church is truely called to be different then it should be full of happiness, excitement, love and joy - which in my book makes a pretty good party!
The reason I believe church should be like a party is that the majority of church goers (in theory but sadly maybe not in practice) are those who know the good news that Jesus brought us and many have responded to that good news!
the Biblical church was and is a gathering of christ followers. It involves worship, teachings, encouragement and more.
SURELY A GATHERING OF PEOPLE WHOM HAVE HEARD AND RESPONDED TO THE GOOD NEWS WOULD WANT TO BE CELEBRATING AND SO CHURCH SHOULD BE A PARTY (i didnt mean to shout there but my comp stuck on caps and when i re-read what I wrote I decided to keep it in capitals)
does this infer or make people believe life will be easy? not in my view! infact I believe a joyful, celebrating church says - life may not go according to my plan but im celebrating that I know there is more to life than this etc etc.
it really depends how you define party does it not? a wake after someone dies is a party, a bday party is a party, a farewell do is a party. Partys come in many sizes and with many styles and so should church. My point is church should be something attractive to people because it is Gods church and God is something people should want in their lives!
does this mean we are not called to be different? no - but thats sort of the point too isnt it? society is full of depression, sadness and lack of love or joy - so if the church is truely called to be different then it should be full of happiness, excitement, love and joy - which in my book makes a pretty good party!
Tuesday, 4 December 2007
A total update in a long awaited blog
The reason I have not blogged for so long is because so much is going on in my life that every time I try to write something i dont know where to start or where to end and so i end up giving up. However the other day I bit someones head off for asking me a simple basic question about my "move and job" because i was fed up of talking about it so I decided I must write it all down so that when asked the questions i can just say "read my blog!" so here goes....
Job information
Last time I wrote I had just had an interview in liverpool, well it went well and they invited me back for a 2nd one during which they informed me that they were definitly offering me the job. I was extremely excited and pleased but used my wisdom to ask for time to pray and concider it.
the next day I asked about the small matter of money and was disapointed to discover that I was being offered a salary which was about £3000 less per year than I am currently on and so wasnt so sure.
I seeked advice from many wise people, some online and some real life/none net friends. Everyone agreed on one thing, that God provides and that if before money became an issue I felt it was right to do then its probably still the right thing to do. So I accepted.
I then had the problem that my current job required 3 months notice and my new job wanted be ASAP. My bosses said I could move earlier as long as something was sorted so that the cube did not suffer. An interim youth worker has now been apointed and so I start my new job on the 2nd January 2008 and will be meeting my current boss tomorow to arrange when I am leaving here.
the job is basicaly (according to my job description) "This is a new post created to engage and befriend young people who frequent the streets of the area and enable them to access purposeful activity in Liverpool Lighthouse and other locations in the area." and as its really hard to say what I will actually be doing I will just leave it as that.
Prayer wise I am very nervous as I havent done detached youth work for a while and am throwing myself into the deep end working with young people who really need help and God. It could be the biggest challenge of my life so far.
Search for a home and "The church"
This weekend I went up to Liverpool to visit the church and experience a sunday service and also to find a home to rent. Well the first bit was easy enough.
The church service was amazing, the friendliness of the people was outstanding with people speaking to me and welcoming me etc etc even before they knew who I was. The service itself was 2 hours long (which for me sounds scarey) and yet the time flew by. I used to have a saying that "church should always be like a party because if thats what heavens like then the church should be like heaven!" and this service really felt like a party. The worship music was a mixture of everything, with people being free to worship how they feel comfortable - I have a pet peave about "happy clappy" churches whos services make you feel guilty if you dont put your hands in the air or speak in tongues etc etc but as I worshipped I really felt God telling me this is my new home and in many other ways I felt challenged like never before in the sermon andwas almost (but i didnt) brought to tears when they spoke so passionatly about the work they do abroad and locally - with no wish for anyone to be praised except for God.
The house hunting was less enjoyable. I found places to look at and yet could not look at them due to staff shortages and other reasons, which meant I actually ended up looking at houses that were not really what I wanted - and trust me when I say if you see a studio apartment for £60 a week its probably not worth even looking at! I guess Il have to go up again soon as time is short and if I dont have anywhere to move to I may be in trouble.
Please pray for God to open a door and find me somewhere to live, and that I fall in love with the house in the same way that I instantly fell in love with my current house.
The Cube
Everyone now knows that I am leaving, and it has been strange as it had led me to see how much of a relationship I actually have with the young people and it has been very moving to hear how many of them say they will really miss me etc. Im sad to be leaving as its not a finished project and the young people are great, but it is the right time, Gods time, and me leaving has resulted in some major decisions in the life of the project (mainly about its future) which I believe will enable for Gods work to be done even more in the towns young peoples lives, so I guess once again I have been reminded how time is Gods not Mans.
I still dont know when my last date is but it will be before 19th December.
Please pray for the work as I try to bring my role to an end and also pray that the new begining for both the cube and its young people goes well.
Christmas
As I dont know where I will be living or when Im moving Christmas planning is proving hard. I am hoping I will go to my mums for a few days but at the back of my mind I have a fear I will end up in an empty home in Liverpool on my own - but its in Gods hands really isnt it!
I am aiming to have a bash on new years eve as a sort of house warming/new years party so if you are free you are invited, just ask for the address (when I have one) and let me know your coming.
Please pray that this party happens, and is well attended and that Christmas goes well (and that I find time and money to get presents!)
Social life
I recently went to London for the day with my mum to see "Avenue Q" a great musical which is slightly ruder than usual but is hilarious - something my mum agreed with - which did suprise me as I thought it may be too rude for her. Go see it if you can - its great!
This weekend I stayed at a friends from uni in Liverpool and it was great to look back at old times. I also managed to get a ticket at the very last minute (2 minutes before kick off) for Liverpool Vs Bolton and what a match 4-0 to Liverpool. I will upload videos as soon as i find the wires.
I must admit socially I feel extremely positive about my future social life as I know a few people in liverpool and surounding areas and also have nothing but nice things to say about the many people I have met and spoken to when I have been visiting. Everything is making me believe that for the first time since university I will have a life away from work and away from the computer!
Please pray all the above comes true!
The internet
I have been neglecting you all, and I am truely sorry. To be honest life is so busy with all of the above I have found myself just wanting to chill without being asked questions about life, without having to chat etc, Im sorry if this sounds harsh as I do see you all as friends but I just needed a break from something and chatting on line was about the only thing I could take a break from.
So thats life, thats why Ive not been online/or have been "hidden" and havent updated my blog. Please pray for all the above and please do ask about things if you want to, and dont take it personaly if I ask you not to ask as sometimes im tired of talking about it.
Remember I love you all, and so does God, and if theres one thing Ive learnt/remembered through all this is that God has a time and sometimes that time isnt when we expect it. This means admiting we dont have total control, which is the hardest thing to do - but when we do it Gods time is revealed and his plan fulfilled.
i think thats everything. Bye for now!
Job information
Last time I wrote I had just had an interview in liverpool, well it went well and they invited me back for a 2nd one during which they informed me that they were definitly offering me the job. I was extremely excited and pleased but used my wisdom to ask for time to pray and concider it.
the next day I asked about the small matter of money and was disapointed to discover that I was being offered a salary which was about £3000 less per year than I am currently on and so wasnt so sure.
I seeked advice from many wise people, some online and some real life/none net friends. Everyone agreed on one thing, that God provides and that if before money became an issue I felt it was right to do then its probably still the right thing to do. So I accepted.
I then had the problem that my current job required 3 months notice and my new job wanted be ASAP. My bosses said I could move earlier as long as something was sorted so that the cube did not suffer. An interim youth worker has now been apointed and so I start my new job on the 2nd January 2008 and will be meeting my current boss tomorow to arrange when I am leaving here.
the job is basicaly (according to my job description) "This is a new post created to engage and befriend young people who frequent the streets of the area and enable them to access purposeful activity in Liverpool Lighthouse and other locations in the area." and as its really hard to say what I will actually be doing I will just leave it as that.
Prayer wise I am very nervous as I havent done detached youth work for a while and am throwing myself into the deep end working with young people who really need help and God. It could be the biggest challenge of my life so far.
Search for a home and "The church"
This weekend I went up to Liverpool to visit the church and experience a sunday service and also to find a home to rent. Well the first bit was easy enough.
The church service was amazing, the friendliness of the people was outstanding with people speaking to me and welcoming me etc etc even before they knew who I was. The service itself was 2 hours long (which for me sounds scarey) and yet the time flew by. I used to have a saying that "church should always be like a party because if thats what heavens like then the church should be like heaven!" and this service really felt like a party. The worship music was a mixture of everything, with people being free to worship how they feel comfortable - I have a pet peave about "happy clappy" churches whos services make you feel guilty if you dont put your hands in the air or speak in tongues etc etc but as I worshipped I really felt God telling me this is my new home and in many other ways I felt challenged like never before in the sermon andwas almost (but i didnt) brought to tears when they spoke so passionatly about the work they do abroad and locally - with no wish for anyone to be praised except for God.
The house hunting was less enjoyable. I found places to look at and yet could not look at them due to staff shortages and other reasons, which meant I actually ended up looking at houses that were not really what I wanted - and trust me when I say if you see a studio apartment for £60 a week its probably not worth even looking at! I guess Il have to go up again soon as time is short and if I dont have anywhere to move to I may be in trouble.
Please pray for God to open a door and find me somewhere to live, and that I fall in love with the house in the same way that I instantly fell in love with my current house.
The Cube
Everyone now knows that I am leaving, and it has been strange as it had led me to see how much of a relationship I actually have with the young people and it has been very moving to hear how many of them say they will really miss me etc. Im sad to be leaving as its not a finished project and the young people are great, but it is the right time, Gods time, and me leaving has resulted in some major decisions in the life of the project (mainly about its future) which I believe will enable for Gods work to be done even more in the towns young peoples lives, so I guess once again I have been reminded how time is Gods not Mans.
I still dont know when my last date is but it will be before 19th December.
Please pray for the work as I try to bring my role to an end and also pray that the new begining for both the cube and its young people goes well.
Christmas
As I dont know where I will be living or when Im moving Christmas planning is proving hard. I am hoping I will go to my mums for a few days but at the back of my mind I have a fear I will end up in an empty home in Liverpool on my own - but its in Gods hands really isnt it!
I am aiming to have a bash on new years eve as a sort of house warming/new years party so if you are free you are invited, just ask for the address (when I have one) and let me know your coming.
Please pray that this party happens, and is well attended and that Christmas goes well (and that I find time and money to get presents!)
Social life
I recently went to London for the day with my mum to see "Avenue Q" a great musical which is slightly ruder than usual but is hilarious - something my mum agreed with - which did suprise me as I thought it may be too rude for her. Go see it if you can - its great!
This weekend I stayed at a friends from uni in Liverpool and it was great to look back at old times. I also managed to get a ticket at the very last minute (2 minutes before kick off) for Liverpool Vs Bolton and what a match 4-0 to Liverpool. I will upload videos as soon as i find the wires.
I must admit socially I feel extremely positive about my future social life as I know a few people in liverpool and surounding areas and also have nothing but nice things to say about the many people I have met and spoken to when I have been visiting. Everything is making me believe that for the first time since university I will have a life away from work and away from the computer!
Please pray all the above comes true!
The internet
I have been neglecting you all, and I am truely sorry. To be honest life is so busy with all of the above I have found myself just wanting to chill without being asked questions about life, without having to chat etc, Im sorry if this sounds harsh as I do see you all as friends but I just needed a break from something and chatting on line was about the only thing I could take a break from.
So thats life, thats why Ive not been online/or have been "hidden" and havent updated my blog. Please pray for all the above and please do ask about things if you want to, and dont take it personaly if I ask you not to ask as sometimes im tired of talking about it.
Remember I love you all, and so does God, and if theres one thing Ive learnt/remembered through all this is that God has a time and sometimes that time isnt when we expect it. This means admiting we dont have total control, which is the hardest thing to do - but when we do it Gods time is revealed and his plan fulfilled.
i think thats everything. Bye for now!
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